


You Said You'd Grow Old With Me

by wintersoldier1989



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 13:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19020880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersoldier1989/pseuds/wintersoldier1989
Summary: Bucky struggles with Steve's decision to go back and return the stones.





	You Said You'd Grow Old With Me

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the song by Michael Schulte, for @stuck-y-together's 1k follower writing challenge. Check out the other entries on Tumblr.

“I’d like to say I’m okay, but I’m not.”

“Buck,” Steve said softly, watching his best friend’s eyes fill with emotion. “Someone’s got to put the stones back,” he reasoned. We need to set things right.”

Bucky couldn’t argue. Steve was right. He was always right. The stones needed to be returned to ensure their reality was secure.

“Why do you have to go?” Bucky asked, the question slipped past his lips, his voice on the verge of tears. “Let me come with you.”

Steve gave him a sympathetic look. “I can’t risk anything happening to you, Buck. You’re too important to me. And everyone else is still trying to heal from it all. It has to be me.”

Bucky wanted desperately to say the words that choked in the back of his throat.

_What about me? What about us?_

“It’ll just be a minute,” Steve explained, trying his best to convince Bucky not to worry.

 _A minute,_ Bucky thought.

A seemingly insignificant amount of time to most, but he’d lived many minutes without Steve Rogers at his side and those were times he’d prefer not to relive.

Bucky forced a small smile on his face, more than certain that Steve could see through his false bravado.

“A minute, eh?” He said, finally able to voice the words. 

“Yeah Buck, I promise. Just one more job and then we’ll have all the time in the world.”

“Okay Rogers, I guess I can go without you for just one more minute.”

With every fibre of his being, Bucky hoped it was true.

***

Time. It was his curse. 

When he’d needed it, he’d had none. Not even a second to spare.

But now that he lay alone in Wakanda, it was all he had.

It wasn’t the first time that Bucky had considered the cruelty of his fate. He had come to accept that being alone was the consequence for his past, that perhaps the universe was hell-bent on keeping him and his best friend apart.

Bucky thought back to him and Steve as kids, getting into trouble and running around their Brooklyn neighbourhood. A seemingly endless supply of long summer days on the stoop dreaming of what the future could hold. He clung to the memories. The sound of Steve’s laughter on Coney Island, fighting alongside him and the Howling Commandos. It all seemed like a lifetime ago.

On a night like tonight, when he lay in bed unable to sleep, Bucky wished he could simply knock back a couple Irish whiskeys in order to get his mind to stop racing. Instead, he got up and covered his shoulders with an African shawl one of the ladies had gifted him when he’d returned and made his way outside.

Bucky walked down to the river, wading his toes under the cold rippling current. The moon reflected on the surface of the water reminding him of all the nights he’d laid beside Steve’s bedside listening to the rickety pipes trickle in rhythm with best friend’s laboured breath. The dim strip of moonlight that peeked through the thin fabric of the curtains. Tonight, Bucky was feeling particularly self-indulgent and his mind wandered to the dreams he’d once had. A life he’d once dared to imagine each time he thought of Steve Rogers.

_Steve and him together._

It’d been far-fetched back in the 40’s but Bucky didn’t care. As long as Steve needed and wanted him by his side that’s where he’d be, consequences be damned.

It had been almost a relief when he’d found Steve in his apartment back in Budapest. Seeing Steve in the same place where he’d made his home was enough to reignite all those desires he’d locked away. But Bucky knew the timing wasn’t right. If Steve was going to walk away from it all for him, he’d had to get his head on straight; make sure he wasn’t ever going to risk hurting the man he loved ever again.

Back before the world had been snapped to dust, while he was in recovery, Bucky hadn’t minded his time alone. Wakanda had a certain peace about it, a contentedness that he hadn’t felt since being a young boy in Brooklyn. A time before war, a time when he was just Bucky and Steve was just Steve, no alter egos or personas to live up to.

Wakanda felt like home, a home that he knew Steve would love. Bucky imagined Steve playing soccer with the local kids, getting a kick out of the pesky goats that congregated outside. Bucky knew Steve would leave an open invitation for the other Avengers to visit between missions, because he’d always want to hear their stories. Bucky imagined being wrapped up in Steve’s muscular arms, safe and secure from the nightmares and horrors of his past that still plagued him, Steve’s strong and even breath easing him back to sleep.

But now that was all impossible because Steve didn’t need him anymore. His best friend had left this life behind. 

Steve had left _him_ behind.

Months passed and Bucky tried to find small pockets of happiness along the way. He was busy feeding his goats, paying extra attention to the runty one that he’d aptly named Steve. Bucky wiped the sweat from his brow, his hair tied up in a knot top of his head in attempt to keep cool. He’d thought about joining the kids for a swim in the river when he’d finished his work for the day.

Speaking of the kids, he hadn’t much of them today. Bucky wondered where they could be, seeing as they usually kept him company. He appreciated the distraction, they kept his mind from wandering to dark and lonely places. Storytime with _The White Wolf,_ had become as much a part of his daily routine as eating and sleeping. Bucky truly enjoyed recounting the many adventures of Captain America, the small pangs of hurt were worth the gleaming smiles on the kids’ faces. 

As he corralled the last of the goats into their pen, little Steve being a pain in the ass as usual; Bucky’s keen senses had him turning his head. His gaze swept the fields, the sound of excited voices garnering his attention. 

“He’s back!” They cried as they ran towards him.

Bucky instinctively started walking towards the children, his heart thundering in his chest flooding with hope.

“White Wolf! The captain, he’s back!”

Bucky’s eyes grew wide bouncing between the small group of kids that surrounded him, unable to process the words.

“Bucky,” a familiar voice said breaking through the haze. It was a voice he’d recognize until his last breath.

He looked up, coming face to face with the man he was certain he’d never see again.

“Steve,” Bucky choked, his feet frozen in place, unbelieving that his best friend was really here. Steve own eyes were tired but Bucky thought they still sparkled. 

“You’re back,” he breathed in a whisper.

“I am,” Steve confirmed, an empathetic half-smile on his lips. “I’m sorry I was gone longer than a minute.”

Hot tears began to stream down Bucky’s cheeks, the surprise more than he could bear. Strong arms pulled Bucky to Steve’s broad chest, his face buried against the crisp fabric of his shirt. Bucky sobbed in relief, Steve’s familiar scent filled him, steady fingers rubbed soothing circles on his back.

“You didn’t think I’d left you behind?” Steve whispered in Bucky’s ear. He moved to cup Bucky’s chin, pressing a tender kiss against his forehead. “I could never leave you, Buck.”

Bucky was overwhelmed by Steve’s homecoming, he’d convinced himself that he would be okay without him that Steve deserved to be happy even if that was with someone else. “I was trying to get by on my own,” he croaked, his chest still tight.

Steve’s arms made their way to Bucky’s shoulders, holding him back just far enough so he could look him in the eye. “Thing is, you don’t have to, Buck. Because it’s you and me until the end of the line.”

 


End file.
